Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
