cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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