why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
