I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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