this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
