I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
