Yo dont text me then not text me
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
