Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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