if you like me you must not know who I am
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
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