You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
