Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
