...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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