I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
