It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
