I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
only you would photoshop your dick
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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