My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
