pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
