Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
