I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
There are leaves in my underwear?
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