I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
