went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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