Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
