Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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