My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
