remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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