you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
