i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
