The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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