I want to make a zoo with you.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
