Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
