Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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