are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
