o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
