There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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