Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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