Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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