I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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