do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
