We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
