you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
