This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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