i permit you to call me
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
