Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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