he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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