your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
