when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
