If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
