Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
