just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
