my mouth tastes like poor choices
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
