woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
